Image Credit: Etsy (TessaShaeffer)
Confession time: I'm feeling bitchy. Today was a great day until I came home, ate some junk food, and immediately felt like a heifer. This sent me into a mad fury of negative and self-loathing thoughts that have a tendency to eat away at me until I do something "good" to make me feel like I have control of my life again (usually, this means cleaning or organizing literally anything I can get my hands on). Now that I've physically typed it out, the unhealthiness of that statement actually worries me, as it should.
I'm stressed, I'm anxious, I have no idea what the upcoming years or even months will have in store. Frankly, I'm terrified. Yes, it's exciting to not know what's around the corner, but only if you feel confident and strong enough to handle the reality of potential failure or hardship. Right now, I don't feel that strength within myself.
Personally, when I get in these ultra negative bitchy moods, it feels as though the weight of the world is literally sitting on top of my head. I feel heavy, discouraged, and physically and mentally low. My pessimistic thoughts and worries pile on top of one another over and over again until I'm ready to take off my head and shake it free of all the toxic negativity that's floating around inside of it.
This is my challenge to myself (and to you, if you find yourself in a similar rut): remix your mantra. Rather than focusing on what's weighing you down at the moment, shift your attention to what's lifting you up. Instead of telling yourself what you aren't doing, remind yourself of what you're excelling at. If you're feeling sorry for yourself over the things you don't have, take a look around you and make an inventory of what you do have. Not an inventory of physical or material things, mind you, but the things that are much more important that: a loving family, a healthy body, access to a quality education, the list goes on and on.
Yes, I'm frustrated that I still live at home with my parents. Yes, I'm desperately anxious about my future and what I'm going to do with my life after I graduate in less than 3 months (!!!). Yes, I don't have the healthiest diet, nor do I exercise as much as I ought to. Yes, I'm single and all of the dates I've been on recently have been utterly disappointing.
I'm fortunate to have parents who provide for me and pay for my education. I make good grades and I have a career path that I want to follow. I'm healthy and capable of changing my eating and exercise habits. I don't need a relationship to make me happy.
Life is a marathon, not a race.
Everything I'm anxious or worrisome about will happen, but in its own time. I will move out eventually, I will find a career that's right for me, I will take control of bettering my health, and I will end up in the right relationship one day.